Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
