it's too hot outside to masturbate.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
