Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
