Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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