Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
