It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
