You're completely useless in the revolution.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
