He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize