Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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