No period for spring break; use this wisely.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
