He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Randomize
