I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
