we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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