I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Randomize