Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
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