You're completely useless in the revolution.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Randomize
