Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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