I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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