they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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