Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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