it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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