There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
