Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
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Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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