Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
