I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
