i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
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