are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
