some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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