I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
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