I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
how do you play pong handcuffed?
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
