it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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