All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
