With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
