I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
