I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
