can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
