Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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