"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
3 2 1 whiskey
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
