I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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