Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
