...so i touched it.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
