OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
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My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
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doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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