Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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