similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
