It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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