He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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