You made me cry and you don't even care
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
