Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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