its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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