I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize