You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
