it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
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Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
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