She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize
