Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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