you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
