If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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