Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
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